Dark Connections Featured Member

Name: ELD / El Latino Dom

Age: 42

Orientation: Heterosexual Dominant

Marital status: Single / Divorced

Do you currently have a sub or play partner: Yes I do, I am Owner of LatinoDoms Destny AKA Onetrudesire, and am currently considering Femme4u82 AKA LatinoDomsFemme

Occupation: I have had many, but for the past 10 years I have been a Union Carpenter (expertise: Architectural Woodwork) in NYC.

Your cultural pride is apparent in your choice of a title. You've taken the moniker-El Latino Dominante. Is there a story behind this choice?
Indeed there is, albeit a bit longwinded. I thought my name should be concise, no frills, and to the point in describing me. Originally it was "New Latino Dom" because I was new on the BDSM Scene, as well as new to the protocols in existence upon my entry. I thought it appropriate to change it to "El Latino Dom" when I Collared my submissive Destny a few years back. My current name itself has a dual purpose. For one thing it is descriptive of me, "Latino" for I am of Latin decent, born in Puerto Rico, and "Dom" for it is a big part of my personality. Secondly it is a sign to other Latinos that may be lurking on the fringes of the community that you are not alone. The "El" part of my name is a sort of title which I adopted as homage to a Latino Master I met during my early days online. His encouragement stopped me from returning back into the shadows many a time early on in my Journey and inspired me to reach out on a realtime basis. His name too begun with the title "El" which can be translated to mean "He," "The One," and/or "Thee." Hence the origins of my name.

ELD's Leather family crest

Have you any thoughts regarding the lack of Latino participation in the BDSM lifestyle?
Yes, I do have some thoughts on this matter. It pained me greatly when I came to the realization that I have few compatriots in the lifestyle. Were it not for the benevolence and camaraderie extended to me by the Black BDSM Community it would be a lonely Journey for me. On reflection I try to look at the positive side. It may very well be that because of the patriarchal nature of most family structures in the general Latino Community that the need for an outlet by which to express our desire to Dominate is not as great as it would be otherwise. But then I say to myself, "What of the Latina females that desire to be Dominant?" That is something that a patriarchal family structure would not allow for. What is their plight in all of this? On the other hand is the negative side. Possibly the Latino Community has not reached the pinnacle of abstract thought needed to actively participate in the concepts surrounding BDSM. But then that would necessitate that there are few Latinos out there capable of abstract thought. I am proof that this is not the case and I do not believe I am an exception to that rule. Such beliefs embrace racism in its ugliest form. In all honesty I feel a responsibility, and believe there is a need, to reach out to our Latino Brethren in the lifestyle. I am sure they are out there. Maybe few in numbers, but they are surely out there. Let me take this opportunity to do a little grandstanding on behalf of my people. I extend open arms to my Latino Brothers and Sisters hiding on the fringes. If you are reading this, know that you are welcomed to participate in this thing that we do. Feel free to reach out and make contact. Let your presence be felt. We are a beautifully colorful people. We encompass all of the colors of this rainbow that is Humanity. Be proud of this fact. Stand tall and be seen. To Dark Connections and the Black BDSM Community in general: I salute you for not being exclusive in this sense. You all have made me feel as part of your family. I am forever grateful. I commend you.

ELD with LatinoDoms Destny, left, and LatinoDomsFemme, right.

In Spanish, the word for Master is "Maestro" which also translates to "Teacher." You've explained that the two words are synonymous in your culture. Do you believe that every Dominant should be a teacher or mentor?
Oh wow ... I see you have been doing your research. I am honored and flattered that you have chosen to research my writings for this interview. You are correct in that there is no other word for Teacher in the Spanish language other than that of Maestro(a), at least none of which I am aware. The two words are indeed synonymous to us as a people. However, not every Dominant is a Master/Mistress nor strives to be. I am sure that there are many that are happy just where they are. I know I am. Therefore, no, I do not believe that every Dominant should be a Teacher. But herein lies the plight of the Dominant. I do believe that a good, strong, experienced Dominant can and will be singled out eventually by others that respect Him/Her; whether he seeks this or not; be it by submissives, switches, or younger and/or less experienced Dominants for guidance and/or advice. In my opinion when such a Dominant reaches this stage of his Journey within the lifestyle he by default will be regarded, by those who hold Him/Her in high esteem, as a Master/Mistress. It is, in my opinion, at the very moment that they develop a following that a Dominant truly achieves Masterhood Status. He/She is then a Teacher in the truest sense of the word.

What exactly do you mean when you say, "Dominance is a state of mind"?
Very good question. When I first appeared on the scene my mind is all that I had. Sure I had made some feeble attempts at physical Dominance, but long before I became adept at swinging a flogger my mind was way ahead of my hand. For many years prior I had been unwittingly attempting to control most if not all my relationships. The use of physical implements has always been secondary to me. I have seen that for many, not all, the physical realm is most of what they do in play and everyday life. For me the opposite is true. Hence, "My Dominance is a state of mind." I chose to address this condition in some of my writings, which by the way, I see you have read, thank you.

ELD with LatinoDomsFemme

Your ideal submissive is described as a buxom, ethnic female who is true to herself and innately submissive. You've also stated that you do not seek love from your submissive, but loyalty. How can you tell if a woman is innately submissive and why is loyalty more important than love to you?
When it comes to innateness Time is the great equalizer. The human mind has a great capacity to learn and disseminate information. Dominance as well as submission can be learned on a physical level. Given enough exposure to someone by way of time, I do believe we can distinguish those that are innately inclined from those that have perfected the Art by way of study. Obviously I prefer the former rather then the latter. Why? ... I believe innate submission to be deeper, not that I am the expert mind you. As for Loyalty versus Love. I love my submissive. However this is not what I originally sought. I have come to understand that love clouds one's judgment. Dominants as leaders and guiders need be wary of having their judgment clouded. For in the end the responsibility to lead is borne by the Dominant. I also believe that a Gentleman Dominant will accept his submissive's shortcomings as his own, hence the more important for us to guide in the right direction. Our leadership need be sound and while matters of the heart need be considered we mustn't, for the benefit of the submissive, let the erratic emotion of love interfere, be it love coming from the submissive or given by the Dominant. Loyalty however is something I do seek. To be happy I must be with one that believes in what I am doing. That holds dear that which is dear to me. That believes in the same principles as I. This in turn predisposes me to be more accepting of my partners personal views. When I have searched for another I have done so with this in mind. I seek out those who can accept my ways first. Then I find it easier to accommodate that which is dear to them and do so with a fervor. In the end I have found that I am prepared to make the necessary sacrifices once I have found that the desire to follow is there. It is afterall, about the submissive's best interests as far as I am concerned.

LatinoDomsFemme receiving her collar of consideration

You have successfully forged what you refer to as a "strong Leather Family Triad". Are there any particular traits one should look for when bringing a third partner into a BDSM relationship?
Upon this writing I must admit that our Triad is as of yet unofficial. I sometimes place goals in writing so as to add to the commitment factor. It makes it more real, tangible. I have yet to officially Collar my second submissive, but the foundation has been laid and I see little that will stop us now. I truly hope that all remains constant. As for the necessary traits involved in such a venture, this may vary depending on the type of relationship one is trying to forge. For us it required a deep seated need to please. A natural distinction to be amicable. And a keen ability to tolerate as well as trust on the part of all parties. Compatibility is also key. It takes work and commitment. Even we have yet to perfect our Triad. It has been a challenge. But so far one we have agreed to tackle for the sake of mutual happiness. As the Dominant in our Triad I say learning to be just when conflict arises has been very important. I have learned to not be quick to side with one or the other. Many a time it will fall on me to pass judgment. To make the hard decisions. The ability to be just is key. No two people have the same needs. I have learned to not give them so much what they want but what they need.

Ideally, what would you say are the most important skills a Dominant needs to possess in order to properly manage a poly relationship?
In a word PATIENCE (smiles). An ability to read emotions also can come in handy. It can be like raising two children, complete with all the bickering. Each has different needs. Listen and observe closely I say.

In your opinion, how does one achieve Masterhood status, and why do you consider yourself a "Journeyman"?
I believe I answered the question of Masterhood in my rantings a little earlier. I truly believe a Dominant reaches this stage in His life unwittingly when He develops a following. As for me being a Journeyman, I equate the term Journeyman with the term we in the lifestyle use for the growing Dominant, "Dom". I am growing and learning as we speak. I am on a daily basis venturing into new found territory within the Lifestyle. I am therefore on a Journey, hence I am a "Journeyman Dom".

ELD with LatinoDoms Destny

Before you decided to enter the BDSM lifestyle, did you find it difficult to connect with, or have relationships with, women on a vanilla level?
Yes, I did have much difficulty. Good thing for me I was a good-looking kid so I was able to lure my victims easily (laughs). But seriously I went through a lot of heartache and a lot of women. The longest relationship I ever had was a four year relationship with a Domineering Cuban girl a few years my senior. A Dommeish type in hindsight. It was hell as you might imagine. The tendency to seek out others that are like minded is a natural one. When one is Dominant by nature this can lead to one seeking out others with similar tendencies. This in turn makes for fiery relationships to say the least. I have come to realize that when it comes to relationships, for me, opposites attract. When I met Destny I had sworn off of women till I felt I had found myself. Over a year went by, then she came into my life. While Destny and I go through our changes, I must say I have never felt the joy I have felt with her, whether with a vanilla woman or in a vanilla relationship. In a few months we will have been together for 3 years. Considering most of my relationships have not lasted more than a year, I'd say I am on the right track.

A wealthy oil magnate from Saudi Arabia has hired you to construct a dungeon fit for a king. You can spend as much money as you like, but his only stipulation is that it is something that has never before been seen on earth. What type of structure and furniture would you create, and what type of materials would you use to build it?
Ahhh ... but am I not an Artisan? A Carpenter to say the least? A true Artist will never reveal his masterpiece till it is done. Know this ... If I build it, they will come (laughs). But I do foresee lots of leather and chrome plated steel. Hmmmm ... ya think I might have a leather Fetish?